We get it; this is an uncertain time, and it’s nice to have something that you can rely on. The wood is going to stay wood, the brass is going to stay brass, and the space inside is going to stay empty, unless you put something in there or it fills up with bugs or something.

Still, we would prefer that you didn’t. Chests are a pain to ship, and, honestly, it gives us a weird melancholy feeling to put a box inside of another box so that, later someone can open the box and take the box inside out. It reminds us of something, maybe ourselves, in a way that makes us uncomfortable.

So, as a favor to us, please stop buying chests. We have many other things: shirts, books, digital backgrounds, that will also stay what they are, mostly, at least for a while, and we can ship them to you without becoming existentially confused.

Here’s a handy mnemonic:
Chest at sea? Fine with me! Chest in mail? I need to think about my life.